• Dr Aimable UWIZEYE

This book helps me to get along with people

Updated: Sep 13

Make friends quickly and easily

Back in my University life, I routinely developed techniques in handling my colleagues, professors or new friends and keeping outstanding relationships. Sometimes, it was not easy to handle disagreement or influence people who have contrasting interests than mine. I wanted to become a powerful public speaker and communicator. I started looking for books and tutorials that could shape my communication and speaking skills to better grab the attention of my audience, especially when I was the Secretary of the Veterinary Students Association in Dakar, Senegal.

I read several books. For instance, “Speak with power and confidence” by Patrick Collins or “How to talk to anyone” by Leil Lowndes. These books were full of many tips and tricks for succeeding in relationships and becoming a public influencer. I went more in-depth and took some online courses in public speaking. One course that shaped my mind is “Public Speaking” by Chris Anderson, which is based on his experiences with TED talk speakers. Despite these efforts, one piece of the puzzle was missing. Because, sometimes, I could be much nervous with people or spend more energy to handle conflicts, particularly in the team. While I was forcing myself to better learn human management. I came across Warren Buffet interview. This interview was short but rich in what I was missing. Warren Buffet was discussing with students and he was asked to name books that have influenced his way of thinking and doing business. Two books, he recommended: “The intelligent investor” by Benjamin Graham and “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie. He went on to explain that he joined Dale Carnegie to take his course on public speaking and handling people. He later said in the HBO’s documentary in 2017, “Becoming Warren Buffet” that as he was terrified of public speaking, he took Dale Carnegie course. This course has been a life-changing to him, that is why the award certificate from Dale Carnegie course is the only one hanging in his office.

As I believe in continuum education, I decided to order the book from the Feltrinelli Library in Rome. I joined thousands of people who read this book before me and studied it from the front cover to the back cover. Reading this book was a learning experience in itself. I spent often time visualising different scenarios on how to make a good first impression in different contexts. I tried on many occasions to test the new techniques learnt at work or University. In different scientific gatherings, I knew that listening to other scientists and avoiding to win argument were the best approaches to increase my scientific influence.

The book also helped me to understand how to put other interests first and learn from other influencers, especially the way they dramatise ideas. It shaped my leadership and my way to make people do what I want in a happier mood. This book is a plethora of human management and communication techniques that are useful in any domain of professional life. From business to science, anybody is interested in influencing his peers by trying to see things from their point of view must read it.

Dale Carnegie understood well that success relies on a great relationship. It took me only one week to finish this book. Since then, I keep reading it regularly to refresh my mind and improving my leadership style.

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